A Story

My name is Della.
I started to intuitively paint as a means to escape grief.

I first drew with Adobe Fresco in 2020 for self-prescribed recovery from trauma. It was an abstract of a simple rose. 

I loved to paint as a kid but I didn't feel I was good at it owing to my drawing skills, and then, pivoted to writing. I wrote poetry and stories for most of my life. 

In 2020, a friend shared her hobby making illustrations on Adobe Fresco and I gave it a try. Intuitively drawing a rose which was one of the few drawings I always did as a kid. That became my business logo. It was the beginning of true hope. 

As the years went by, I started building my brand. It honestly didn't get anywhere but I kept all the paintings, notes, writings, designs. 

In 2021, I went through a life changing event where failures in my personal life depressed me to the extent I started to hallucinate all the time. When I slept, it didn't stop. I kept vividly dreaming and a lot of the time there were nightmares - as real as it could get for me. I was in Toronto after graduation looking for work with a pandemic just over - I was living the "independent life". Except this event mentally paralysed me. Simple things like buying groceries, cleaning up after myself, cooking, and yes even showering became impossible over the weeks and months. After about 3 months, I impulsively decided to book tickets to India and move back with my parents. It took me 2 failed tries and trips to the airport to catch my flight. Oh and chocolate helped, watching tv helped and the occasional sleep I got - all things material and all things I abstained from as part of wellness. This was a huge win for me. Once I got home, I got a break. I was in heaven. I had ready food, no work, no stress, parents who were waiting for me. I decided to paint again. This time I bought paint-paint so I could use my hands and do things old-fashioned. The paintings astounded me because I knew what it was - a gift. Rephrasing Oscar Wilde's famous statement - I am not a painter, I paint. I understand that now finally because I really am not a painter; but I can paint now. 

The struggles didn't end but then, honestly. But it did end eventually over the next few years. Before it got better, it got worse after a few months of break in India. My dad's cancer came back and this was the most painful time of my life and the hardest. He passed away in early 2024 and it took me months after to figure out the solution to my state because I was finally able to understand out the problem first. My mental health and it's funny how obvious it was. So, I booked an appointment with my psychiatrist, drove myself there and had to convince her therapy doesn't work for me. The pills worked instantly. Because I was able to find the right solution. With that, believe it not, my true nature. I had been on a spiritual quest for more than a decade. I practiced minimalism and hard work. I realised last year what I truly loved was the easy way - la vie en rose.

All the simple, easy, fun (and good) things. Chocolate is good. It's the best organic remedy for emotional pain. I was eating 2 full Lindt bars for days before I caught my flight from Toronto. Chocolate got me out of bed. When things got much worse after daddy got sick, prescribed meds did the job. 

These pieces of art I have created from extraordinary gifts I received during extraordinarily painful times are here for sale, so no amount of sadness and pain (like CO2) I felt goes unfiltered into the world, and is processed into happiness and joy. There is more coming in the future because I turned my hallucinations into meaningful art -  feelings into colours, lines. My art is a clean window into the abstract world. You can start here - not the beginning or the end, but the underrated middle. 

The list of contents:

My paintings are in a series of years. 2021 - St. Mary Magdalena (is available only as digital and not for sale currently); 2022 -23 (Acrylic on paper - few originals and loads of prints); 2024 (exclusively available here - oil and acrylic on canvas cloth - themes: abstract ocean and misc.).

Let's Bring Home The Bull!

Best,
Della Antony
Founder of BHTB Project